During high school, many students, some of whom I had never before met, thanked me for giving them the courage to come out and showing them that it was possible to persevere. The most gratifying aspect, however, was seeing the positive impact on others. I also became closer with my family, especially with my mom. I can be myself, knowing that the people I love support and accept me. While coming out at such a young age was difficult, I have no regrets. I was overwhelmed by my mom’s reaction, and it brought us closer than ever. I braced myself, but she sat me down and told me she loved me no matter what and that while she wasn’t happy with the way she had to find out, she wanted me to know she would support me. When I got home that day, my mom met me at the door, looking concerned. Unfortunately, my school administration eliminated that opportunity by informing my mother after a parent wrote a letter to the school, complaining that her child had to be “exposed” to my girlfriend and me. They were open and accepting people, but I still doubted they’d be thrilled that I wasn’t “normal.” I prepared many different speeches in my head and was waiting for the right opportunity. The main thing holding me back was fear of my parents’ reaction. Once I had come out to my friends and my school, I started feeling more and more uncomfortable that I had not yet told my family. Fortunately, after a few months, things started getting better, and slowly, people became more tolerant. The frustrating thing was that we weren’t trying to make a splash or a sensation we just wanted to be treated like any other people and any other couple. I remember the helpless anger I felt when I realized that my school wasn’t going to do much to help us. We got detentions for hugging and homophobic comments hissed at us behind our backs. My girlfriend and I faced discrimination and harassment from both students and faculty. Unfortunately, my high school is rather conservative, and being the first openly gay couple wasn’t very easy. My girlfriend and I decided that while we wouldn’t shout from the rooftops, we also wouldn’t hide that we were dating. Coming out to my friends was one thing coming out to the rest of my high school was another. My honesty really strengthened our friendships, and their support became an invaluable resource for me for years to come. They all became completely comfortable with it in their eyes it was just part of who I was.
Regardless of their initial reaction, all my friends eventually accepted me. I told my friends individually, and their responses varied from confused to unsurprised. I came out to three distinct groups: my friends, my school and lastly, my family. However, my strong feelings on the subject didn’t exactly prepare me for how difficult stepping out of “the closet” into the big, bright world would be or how deeply it would affect me and those around me. I also wasn’t comfortable with lying about who I was or who I loved. I totally rejected the idea that I should hide how I felt, as if it was wrong or horrible.
To me, coming out was all about being true to myself.
I came out at 16, shortly after I discovered I was gay.
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